Breaking the News: How to Tell Your Parents, Friends, and Family You're Pregnant

Finding out you’re pregnant as a teen can be incredibly overwhelming. On top of processing the whirlwind of emotions and big decisions ahead, you likely feel anxious about breaking the news to your parents or family. That conversation is rarely easy, but there are ways to approach it with sensitivity and honesty.

Take a Deep Breath

The conversation may not go as you hope, but it’s best to rip off the bandaid rather than putting it off. Delaying will only build up more anxiety and could upset your parents further if they find out from someone else. Remind yourself that this may be initially shocking for them to hear, but you’re still the same person they love.

Choose the Right Time and Place

Pick a low-stress time when you can sit down with your parents or family members privately. Avoid blurting it out in front of others or in a heated moment. You’ll want to allow time for discussion without distractions or a rushed environment.

Explain Before Reacting

When you initiate the conversation, calmly explain that you have something difficult, but important to tell them. Let them know you’re pregnant before reacting to any of their responses. This allows you to fully get the news out. Have facts ready, like how far along you are and that you’ve already taken a pregnancy test.

Be Honest, But Avoid Blaming

Your parents will likely have many questions running through their minds. Be prepared to have an open and honest discussion about how the pregnancy occurred. However, avoid blaming others or going into too many details, which could come across as insensitive. Take responsibility for your part.

Make Your Feelings Known

Becoming unexpectedly pregnant as a teen stirs up countless emotions – fear, shame, anxiety, confusion. Don’t hold it all in during this conversation. Expressing how you’re feeling can help your family understand the situation better and that you need support, not judgment.

Discuss Your Options and Plans

Have you already begun exploring your options of parenting, adoption? Share your preliminary thoughts, but make it clear you’re open to discussing all paths. Reassure your family you’re committed to making a wise, informed decision, not an impulsive choice.

Can You Help Me Break The News?

This news may trigger strong reactions from parents or family at first. What’s important is opening the door to a supportive, ongoing dialogue as you navigate this life-changing experience together. With honesty and care, trust can be rebuilt.

Use the outlines below as a guideline for conversations with your Family, Friends, and other people in your life.

Telling Your Boyfriend

• Pick a private time/place without distractions
• Explain you have important news – you’re pregnant 
• Share how far along you are and that the results are definite
• Don’t assign blame, but have an open discussion 
• Make it clear you need his support, not judgment right now
• Discuss if/how to tell parents together as the next step

Telling a Teacher

• Request a private meeting before/after class
• Open by saying you have a personal situation to make them aware of
• Share that you’re pregnant, but don’t need to over-explain
• Reassure them you plan to continue your education
• Ask what resources the school offers for pregnant teens
• See if a counselor can discuss ensuring your rights  

Telling Parents

• Pick a private time/place without distractions
• Explain you have important news – you’re pregnant 
• Share how far along you are and that the results are definite
• Don’t assign blame, but have an open discussion 
• Make it clear you need his support, not judgment right now
• Discuss if/how to tell parents together as the next step

Telling Siblings 

• After informing parents first, don’t wait too long to tell siblings
• Share the news gently, emphasizing you need family support  
• Acknowledge it was unplanned, but avoid isolating details
• Allow them to react, but reiterate you’re still family
• See if they can be a confidant as you decide next steps

Telling Grandparents

• Don’t surprise them – give a heads up you need to discuss something
• Share the news simply – “I’m pregnant” and how far along
• Emphasize your priority is being open with family
• Note you understand if disappointed, but want their advice  
• See if they can provide a level head during this emotional time

Telling Your Boss/Co-Workers 

• Schedule a meeting with your boss/manager
• State directly that you’re pregnant, skip unnecessary details  
• Don’t over-apologize, it’s a legal right to continue working
• Discuss your plans to continue working and request any accommodations    
• For coworkers, you can simply say you’re expecting a child

Telling Fellow Students

• Avoid announcing it publicly at first, tell close friends  
• Share the matter-of-fact news – “I’m pregnant”
• Note you plan to continue your education as before 
• Ask them to avoid gossiping out of respect for you
• Let them know you’ll share other details when ready